“I don’t know if this matters.”
“I know I’m talking too much”
If I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman apologize for what she was about to say, or place qualifying language around her thoughts, I’d be a rich woman.
If I had a dollar for every time I apologized or qualified my own thoughts and opinions, I’d be even richer.
If you find that apologizing in conversation is an automatic reflex, here’s a reminder (and a reminder for myself, too):
Your thoughts, opinions, and experience matter. There’s a reason you’re at that table, in that conversation, or answering that question.
Maybe what you have to say is going to be unpopular. People may not agree, or choose to act differently than you suggest.
But that doesn’t mean you have to say you’re sorry for it.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a meaningful apology when it’s needed.
But sharing your thoughts, expressing your opinions, and bringing things to the conversational table isn’t an imposition that warrants an apology.
Apologizing for your thoughts and book-ending your sentences with qualifiers doesn’t only impact the way people listen to you. It affects your own confidence levels, too.
So stop downplaying who you are, who God has created you to be, and what you bring to the table.
You’re good. You’re worthy. You’re beloved. You matter.
That’s nothing to apologize about.
Want to continue this conversation about talking about ourselves as someone we love? You’ll love next week’s episode of Letters to Women, “A Letter to the Woman Who’s Criticizing Herself” where Patty Breen and I talk about self-affirmation and how we can be more intentional with the way we talk about and to ourselves.