A Letter to the Woman Planning Her Wedding

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Congratulations on your engagement, sister! I'm so excited for you and the adventures that Christ has in store for your future marriage. You've found the one who your soul loves, and that is something beautiful to celebrate.

As exciting as your upcoming wedding day is, planning for that big day can be stressful. You'll quickly find out the many little things that have to be done on your way to the altar. Trust me, I didn't even know about half of the things that went into wedding planning until Joseph and I started planning our wedding almost two years ago. 

Don't get me wrong - planning a wedding is absolutely beautiful. But it can also be incredibly overwhelming. It can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

You want to enjoy your time as a fiancee and make the choice to love your beloved. But instead, the to-do list before the wedding day presses in on you. Your mind is swirling with questions about bridesmaid dresses, reception locations, and RSVP's. Sometimes you feel like you can't breathe.

As an engaged woman, it's oh-so tempting to wrap up your identity into wedding planning. Your time is eaten up by searching for the perfect dress (mermaid or empire waist?), planning the reception menu (wedding cake or pie?) and sorting through expectations from family and friends. It can be exhausting. 

It doesn't have to be exhausting. 

I wish I could sit down with you over a warm vanilla latte (or two) and visit with you. I'd want to hear all about the way that you and your soon-to-be husband met. I'd ask you what you're most excited for when it comes to marriage. But, since we may just know each other through this blog, that may not be possible.

So here's what I'd say during that coffee date - your engagement is such a beautiful season. The world tells us to rush through it. The culture tells us to set up a count-down timer and get ready for the big day. Bridal magazines transform this season of your life into one constant to-do list full of things to check off. 

But this season is really a time to dig deep into relationship with people, not worry about things. The big day you're planning? It's a day where you're going to vow to a man that you're going to choose to love him in sickness and in health. On the good days and the bad days. When things run smooth and when things feel like they are falling apart. 

So I'm going to invite you to do something you may think is crazy.

Spend as much time planning for your marriage as you do planning for your wedding. If time permits, actually, spend more time planning for your marriage. Take time to prepare your heart. Take a breath, put away the wedding plans for a night, and go on a date night with the man you love. 

And don't talk about the wedding. 

Instead, think about the first days of your relationship. Reminisce about your favorite moments with your beloved. Talk about your future marriage together. 

It may seem like all the matters right now are the table decorations, or coordinating the groomsmen to get their suits together. But there are much bigger things ahead of you than planning a wedding. Your engagement (and your future marriage) offer you an opportunity to grow in love.  

A little over a year ago, I married Joseph Langr. If I'm honest, I love him more today than I did on the day I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him. Every morning, when I'm resting in his arms and praying with him, I ask God to give me the grace to love Joseph better today than I did yesterday. Our lives together as the Langr family, I pray, are just beginning. 

I know you have a wedding to plan. But a wedding is a day. It's a beautiful, grace-filled, heart-swelling 24 hours. But it's just a day. But your marriage? Sister, I'm praying that your marriage is a life-time adventure.