Almost all of us girls have done it. Perhaps it was after a hard break up, a long time spent daydreaming or a genuine hope to prepare for the future, but we've written down the infamous list.
1) He should have blonde hair.
2) He should have green eyes.
3) Must be minimally 6'3"
What will happen when you meet a great, Catholic guy who has dark hair, blue eyes and is pushing 6'1"? There is nothing wrong with desiring a physical attraction. In fact, that is important for marriage!Yet if physical characteristics are the deciding factor, and the final factor for yes-or-no, you may find yourself disappointed.
But why is it important to have a list, or even an idea of what we would like in a future spouse? Simply put, females are emotional. We can think we have it all down, but let's be honest, it can be incredibly easy to let a red flag fall by the wayside of our consciousness simply because a guy acts like a gentleman, or tell us that we look pretty when we think we resemble what Jonah looked like after three days in the stomach of a fish.
Having a concept of what a Godly future husband looks like makes it very easy to quickly differentiate between whether or not a guy is going to be an acquaintance, friend or, if God wills it, more than a friend.
Some ideas for your future spouse list? Here is mine for comparison:
1) He is a strong man whose Catholicism is invasive: A blatant and passionate faith that infects every aspect of his life.
2) He is someone who I would want our future children to mimic and look to as an example for what someone striving for holiness looks like. He is an image for how our children will view God as a father.
3) He is a man can laugh with me and not at me. He can balance out my serious side, and has advice for even the most self-assumed dismal situations.
4) He makes me a better person - and can say I do the same for him.
An additional question to put this process in perspective: If the man who you prayed for showed up in your life today, would he be interested in you as a Catholic woman by the way you live your day-to-day life? Be prepared to hold yourself to the same standards you pray he is living by.
The most important thing to remember is that God's timing is always the best. He knows you better than anyone ever will...and even better than you know yourself. Wait on Him, wait patiently for the Lord. Don't lose heart, be strong of heart and wait on the Lord (Psalm 27:14).
Si vis amari ama,