Today, when I got home from work, a package was waiting for me. The return address was an company I had applied for a scholarship with. So, as you can imagine I was pretty excited and hopeful. I opened the package, and my hopes fell as quickly as they had come. Dejection, the dreaded "We regret to inform you" line that sends dream down the drain. Ok, that was pretty dramatic.
Point being: I'm so tired of being turned down. There have been a lot of these instances, especially in my college journey. The "No" from the Catholic College that was my number one choice. The "No" from federal aid when I was expecting more than I had been granted. The "Try again next time" from the scholarship after scholarship after scholarship that I've applied for. So, I wallowed in self-pity for a couple of minutes and then I had to stop. Because feeling sorry for myself will get me absolutely no where.
Would this scholarship have made covering school costs easier? You bet. Would it have been nice to be selected for something that I really poured my time and heart into? Sure. But I'll still be able to go to school without it. It'll be a challenge, but nothing good comes easy.
As I'm pouring my heart out to God this afternoon, it hit me. If I needed this scholarship, I would have gotten it. God's taking care of me, and if He saw that it was going to be best for me to get this money, He would have worked it out. Yet I wasn't selected, and deep down, I'm going to be okay. God has a plan, and it's SO much better than what I have in mind. This college path for me has been such an opportunity to give up what I want and let God take over. Pardon the cliché, but when God closes a door, He'll open a window. He's got it covered, all I have to do is trust.
God bless you all,